Tuesday, December 30, 2008
On New Year's Eve, Eve
There is snow in the forecast. May actually cover up all the gray lumps left from the last storms. Dirty, dirty snow. Make it all pretty!
Friday, December 19, 2008
A belated birthday wish
Okay, you know the drill. I'm always late with my birthday wishes. Anyway, I hope you had a fantastic birthday week, Miss Kate. Here is a tribute to you. We will lift a glass next time we meet, Miss Magpie.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Presents!
I got my first Hanukah present of the year! It was in a giant box from my pals in Portland (that's Oregon not Maine). I sifted through a butt load of styrofoam peanuts which were not very "green" although these friends will probably receive them back (Recycle! Reuse!). In the giant box was a star-shaped box. It had 8 compartments where presents can be stashed. Oh my gosh. It's an advent Hanukah box!
Now, I know I'm supposed to wait for each day but of course I opened them up. What did I find? Mostly little bottles of liquor and cat toys. What a statement on my life, nu? If it wasn't so funny, I'd cry. No, no. I am very appreciative and I know these friends will probably not read this blog so I don't have to watch my words. It was a fun present (and there were other non-alcohol non-cat-related items).
Hanukah starts next Sunday. Get out your candles for the yearly fear of burning down the house -- by the over excited cats and the drunk owner.
Now, I know I'm supposed to wait for each day but of course I opened them up. What did I find? Mostly little bottles of liquor and cat toys. What a statement on my life, nu? If it wasn't so funny, I'd cry. No, no. I am very appreciative and I know these friends will probably not read this blog so I don't have to watch my words. It was a fun present (and there were other non-alcohol non-cat-related items).
Hanukah starts next Sunday. Get out your candles for the yearly fear of burning down the house -- by the over excited cats and the drunk owner.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tis the season for Birthdays!
And not for you know who. First up is Alex -- happy birthday, girl! It's always nice when the day falls on a Friday so I hope you do whatever makes you happy. We will celebrate once you are in town. You must bring your bee-eating puppy over to torture my kitties.
Dear Cupid...and the response
Dear Cupid:
I've had enough of you. You aren't welcome here. If I see your dimpled cheeks or smell your baby barf and powder scent, I will drop kick you over the house.
Remember one of those first arrows that found that weakened artery you so much liked to pierce from then on? Let me remind you -- a tall, scruffy dude who spit tobacco in a plastic cup in my room and whose hobbies included Ultimate Frisbee, not bathing, and freebasing? Though, in all fairness, my lack of success in that tentative step was like a death cult stamping my application as "need not apply."
This heart is closed for business. You go on now. Scat. Shoo. Go darken someone else's door now.
Sincerely,
The Idea of Order
Dear Love's Supplicant:
We regret to hear of your recent trouble but we insist that opting out is simply not possible. It's a standard contract that everyone signs once they lock eyes with that special person over the onion dip. If it is any consolation, see our "fish in the sea" clause.
We hear many such cases as yours -- some that would make your toes curl. We assure you that yours is not the worst scenario that could be occur (see Romeo v. Juliet; Othello v. Desdemona; Jason v. Medea).
To state that you are unloved is far from the truth. There are many people who tolerate the pleasure of your company. Case in point: attached to this letter are sworn affidavits from your mother and your cats.
Besides, without our services what would become of country music, sonnets, and adolescent graffiti? We note even now that your own burst of inspiration directly correlates to this so-called "hole in your heart."
In closing, we wish you the best of luck in all future endeavors and regret that we cannot dissolve the contract as it stands. Please direct all future correspondence to the office of fate (c/o the flying fickle finger).
Kind Regards,
Management
I've had enough of you. You aren't welcome here. If I see your dimpled cheeks or smell your baby barf and powder scent, I will drop kick you over the house.
Remember one of those first arrows that found that weakened artery you so much liked to pierce from then on? Let me remind you -- a tall, scruffy dude who spit tobacco in a plastic cup in my room and whose hobbies included Ultimate Frisbee, not bathing, and freebasing? Though, in all fairness, my lack of success in that tentative step was like a death cult stamping my application as "need not apply."
This heart is closed for business. You go on now. Scat. Shoo. Go darken someone else's door now.
Sincerely,
The Idea of Order
Dear Love's Supplicant:
We regret to hear of your recent trouble but we insist that opting out is simply not possible. It's a standard contract that everyone signs once they lock eyes with that special person over the onion dip. If it is any consolation, see our "fish in the sea" clause.
We hear many such cases as yours -- some that would make your toes curl. We assure you that yours is not the worst scenario that could be occur (see Romeo v. Juliet; Othello v. Desdemona; Jason v. Medea).
To state that you are unloved is far from the truth. There are many people who tolerate the pleasure of your company. Case in point: attached to this letter are sworn affidavits from your mother and your cats.
Besides, without our services what would become of country music, sonnets, and adolescent graffiti? We note even now that your own burst of inspiration directly correlates to this so-called "hole in your heart."
In closing, we wish you the best of luck in all future endeavors and regret that we cannot dissolve the contract as it stands. Please direct all future correspondence to the office of fate (c/o the flying fickle finger).
Kind Regards,
Management
Monday, December 1, 2008
All this Social Networking is Wearing me out
I've revived my interest in Facebook, much to my dismay and have been busy catching up with all the friending and chatting and so forth. Probably good that I didn't do this before I left for Atlanta because I would have run myself ragged trying to see people.
As it was, I spent quality time with the family -- Turkey dinner was with my mother, sister, niece, and nephew. There was plenty to eat. Friday, we did go shopping but only because my mother needed a new washer. I ended up buying my sister an el cheapo DVD player because hers had died. We did buy that washer, but on Saturday. Did my mother really need to traumatize the salesperson when she responded to his comment that the washer would last 15 years with "it will probably outlast me." We are a morbid bunch.
Later that Saturday afternoon, I drove to Alabama (yes, you Northeasterners, one can enter that state and not die) for an Indian food buffet extravaganza. Michelle and her fiance, Jason, hosted. A great friend from my alma mater showed up and we ended up talking late into the night. It was soo good to see Brad. It's been years.
Sunday I drove back to Atlanta and relaxed at the homestead. I flew back this morning. I guess because of all the delays on Sunday, the plane was packed and I did not get bumped into first class (like I was on the way down -- the only way to travel!!).
Now, I must think about the last weeks of class. I am so behind. I hope everybody had a nice holiday!
As it was, I spent quality time with the family -- Turkey dinner was with my mother, sister, niece, and nephew. There was plenty to eat. Friday, we did go shopping but only because my mother needed a new washer. I ended up buying my sister an el cheapo DVD player because hers had died. We did buy that washer, but on Saturday. Did my mother really need to traumatize the salesperson when she responded to his comment that the washer would last 15 years with "it will probably outlast me." We are a morbid bunch.
Later that Saturday afternoon, I drove to Alabama (yes, you Northeasterners, one can enter that state and not die) for an Indian food buffet extravaganza. Michelle and her fiance, Jason, hosted. A great friend from my alma mater showed up and we ended up talking late into the night. It was soo good to see Brad. It's been years.
Sunday I drove back to Atlanta and relaxed at the homestead. I flew back this morning. I guess because of all the delays on Sunday, the plane was packed and I did not get bumped into first class (like I was on the way down -- the only way to travel!!).
Now, I must think about the last weeks of class. I am so behind. I hope everybody had a nice holiday!
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